I hate birthdays

Yes, I really do. Today was my 51st birthday. Over half a century, and I haven't done anything with my life.

The only thing I've accomplished that I set out to do was get a novel published. I did that. For what little it's worth. Two novels. Neither of which can be found in a bookstore - only online. I'll never get rich from them. And I don't even *feel* like writing these days. My muse must be as depressed as I am.

I'm still struggling to make a living - barely able to make ends meet. Robbing Peter to pay Paul. Working in a BBQ restaurant - a job that was supposed to be temporary when I started doing it 20 years ago. I hate the job. Working on my feet ten hours at a time is getting more and more difficult for me.

I can do so many other things - but since I'm 51 and have no *verifiable* experience doing those things, no one will hire me. No one will even *look* at me for another job. I feel trapped and that's making me depressed.

*Very* depressed. On a day when I should have been happy, all I could think about was that someone I work with finally got the nerve to say 'enough' and find something else to do. I wish him well. He's a great guy with a young family to support - something he wasn't going to be able to do working in a BBQ restaurant.

I don't have the money to get training to do anything else - and I'm not sure that I would qualify for any help to *get* the training. And even if I were to try to take some courses, I'd need some way to support myself and the family - and right now, I can't count on my hubby to do that. Of course, I've *never* been able to do that. That's how a 'temporary' job ended up lasting twenty plus years.

Damn. I hate my life. My *only* hope is that my daughter will get back on SSI and I'll have a *tiny* bit of wiggle room. But that's still at least another two months away.

Wish I knew which way to turn. And why I keep trying.

No cops

Well, the police never got there last night before they went to bed. Figures. I read this morning at CNN that they're going to keep the state police and Natl. Guard on duty to patrol NOLA through December because of the murders that have occurred there since Katrina.

 

My boss found out this morning that they also stole his two way radios when they broke in. ::Shakes head in sad frustration::

 

When they left, my boss said, "Let's get the hell out of this God-forsaken hell-hole."

 

I second that.

 

He and Frank have shaken the dust of NOLA off and are heading home. If another hurricane hits somewhere, they'll be there to help with the clean up. But not if it's in NOLA again...

 

New Orleans

I've had it with the place.

Really. My boss and his son have been trying to make money down there with
debris removal. My husband worked for them and someone else for awhile - saw
the mess that's going on.

They can't get the houses torn down because of paperwork required by the
city (for a huge fee). And when my boss and husband went down there to
retrieve their trucks and trailers to bring them home, they found out that
while they were going down there to get them, someone broke into his house
trailer and several others in the area, stealing TVs and other items.

They've called the police, but after almost an hour, they still haven't seen
a police car. I told Frank that if they contacted the local media about it,
maybe then someone would take note of what's going on down there.

I really don't think that city will *ever* be rebuilt, with the way things
are going. Too much corruption and local politics involved. I'm wondering
if the best thing that could happen would be for another hurricane/flood to
hit and simply wash everything out to sea.

Sorry if that upsets people, but from where I sit, having heard the horror
stories of people who have been down there *trying* to help get things ready
to *start* rebuilding - it's the way *I* feel.

Wal-mart layaway to end

http://www.walmartfacts.com/articles/4438.aspx

This is a disgrace! Wal-Mart is getting rid of it's layaway program. So I
guess that means poor people who can't get credit cards or don't want to get
them are just out of luck for getting things.

My mother uses layaway all the time at our local Wally's World. She doesn't
like using her credit card for things - would rather pay it out at Wal-Mart.
Not sure how this is going to affect her - except that she'll end up
incurring a higher credit card bill with high interest fees.

It's a bunch of bull. Wal-Mart has moved into every small town in the US,
and run smaller mom and pop stores out of business - so now they're the only
game in town. Now, they're going to hurt the very people who keep them
open.

Sam Walton is probably whirling in his grave at what's been done to his
company since his death.

frustration

I recently acquired a new cellphone from Sprint. It's an Audiovox/UTStarcom
CDM120. It's not net compatible, which is okay with me. I have my computer.

But because I can't get online with the darn thing, I can't download any
ringtones other than the ones at the Sprint website. (and they're not worth
the money that Sprint wants me to pay and keep paying).

**sigh**

New Orleans - do they really WANT it cleaned up????

A lot of people in my area got rooked into spending money to go down to NOLA for clean up after Katrina. Most of them have lost their shirts because either the money isn't being paid to the contractors, or the contractors aren't paying the money to the people below them.

 

And that means the little guys who are working for those people aren't making any money, either.

 

I've heard horror stories from my husband about the houses in the 9th Ward that are still sitting there, but can't be torn down because the owners haven't applied --- for a hefty fee --- for permission to tear them down . At the rate they are going, the only thing that will clean the city up is another Cat 5 hurricane - and another levee break.

 

I really have to wonder about the 'leadership' down there. They scream and yell about 'failures' by FEMA and the Feds. But their leadership since hasn't been anything to brag about, imho.

 

Come on, Nagin, stop campaigning in other cities for whatever - and stop opening your mouth to prove that you're an idiot!

 

More later.

 

---yeah, I'm back. And as usual, this is my opinion. If you disagree, fine. That's your right.